Ignited Page 22

  “I don’t know,” she replies.

  I release a breath and move closer to Maddy. She’s sweating. Restless. Are her nightmares her own, or is the Dream Girl sending her more troubled visions? Is she inside the next victim, about to die right along with her? Even if she’s not one of the targets, Maddy is somehow connected to this case with the demon serial killer.

  Maddy was right. I should have told her what the vision meant right away. Maybe even warned her when she reacted to Atwood’s name on the radio last night. Instead I did nothing. It should have come from me instead of him.

  “I’m going to lose her,” I say.

  “No, you’re not,” Tamitha says, moving beside me.

  “We’ll make sure you don’t,” Alexander adds, coming up on my other side.

  Maddy tosses and turns, still plagued by whatever she’s seeing.

  I can’t watch her go through this. It’s too much.

  I turn to leave, then I stop. I should stay. Keep her safe.

  But is that really helping her? If I hover, if I step in every time, I’m taking away chances she has to gain confidence in her abilities and herself.

  I do trust her, and I do have faith in her. But I don’t have faith in me. I don’t trust what I’d do if I ever lost her. And because of my mistakes, I might have lost her already.

  As difficult as it is to admit, I’m too emotionally connected to her. In order to have any hope of solving the mystery that is the woman I love, I need time to think. Her life is a puzzle, and figuring out the pieces is the only way to keep her safe. Keep us together.

  “Tamitha, if her dreams change at all . . .” I begin.

  Both Tamitha and Alexander look at me in surprise. There’s something new in my voice. I hear it too.

  “If she shows any signs of stress or pain, call me back, and I’ll get her out of there.”

  “I will,” Tamitha says. “I promise.”

  I hesitate a moment longer, wondering if I’m making the right choice.

  Alexander puts his hand on my shoulder. “Where are we going?”

  I shake my head. “I’m going alone.”

  “Of course you are, and I’m coming with you. It’s my job—as your best friend—to help you through this.”

  I draw in a breath. He’s right. Our relationship is far beyond professional. He’s always been there for me, whether I needed him or not. Now that Maddy has restored my feelings, I see that. He is my best friend. Had I not found Maddy, I would have lost him when I was reborn. I would have lost them all.

  I nod, and together we leave Maddy’s room.

  . . .

  Ash and smoke cling to the air, and streetlights illuminate the burned debris that was once Justin’s hideout. I hadn’t meant to come here. When we left Maddy’s room, I didn’t really have a plan. For some reason, this is where my instincts led me.

  “Good call,” Alexander says, taking in our surroundings. “The Influencer is still after her. We can maybe pick up his essence and track him.”

  “I’m not looking for the Influencer right now,” I say. “I know his essence. He hasn’t been within fifty miles of her since that night.”

  I look around. Two people died in this house. The ground will forever be scarred with their pain. This place calls out to weak beings, like a Trifecta. They will feed off the energy created. But if I perform the ritual to cleanse this space, I could lose my best shot at finding Ben.

  “We’re here because Ben hasn’t arrived yet.”

  Alexander stops and turns back to face me. “Do you think he’s trapped here?”

  “It’s crossed my mind.” I crouch down, grabbing a fistful of debris. There isn’t any spiritual essence clinging to it.

  “And you think finding him will fix things with Maddy?”

  The dirt slips through my fingers as I stand. “No. But maybe if I find him, she’ll finally let go of her guilt.”

  He nods. He feels the air for traces of Ben’s essence. I join in, combing the area that once was the living room.

  Sometimes when deaths are sudden, the deceased don’t understand what happened, so they won’t cross over. They’ll haunt the places and people most important to them, trying to connect to them and make sense of things. When people are murdered, we often find them stuck at the scene, repeating that moment.

  Whenever we stumble across lost souls, it doesn’t matter if we’re on a case or not; we help them. The afterlife should be about peace and acceptance, not pain and the past.

  If lost souls linger on Mortal Ground too long, they become infected with mutated forms of hate, anger, and revenge. Once that happens, they’re no longer granted access to Immortal City and are then cast in with the demons.

  The last thing Maddy needs is for Ben to become a demon.

  I sigh, knowing Ben’s trail has gone cold. I want to find him for Maddy, but I don’t know where else to look. If Ben isn’t trapped here, the possibilities are infinite.

  “This is a dead end,” I say.

  “You’re not giving up already, are you?”

  I can’t find Ben. But there is another being I can perhaps find—at least on paper.

  “Come on,” I say.

  He smiles. “Where are we going?”

  “Home.”

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Maddy

  I’m sweating. The heat from my body seeps through my blankets. I toss them off, and through my closed eyes I notice it’s brighter than normal.

  Panic grips me. It’s a fire.

  Please no. Not again.

  I bolt upright, coming face-to-face with the masked demon. She’s on the bed, kneeling over me, staring at me with those frightening demon eyes.

  I scurry back, hitting the wall.

  For a moment, neither of us say anything. An odd orange glow reflects off her mask. I don’t know where I am, other than in a bed. She’s so close, I can’t see anything but her. She’s wearing a yellow dress. Her long brown hair frames her face hidden underneath that same mask. She sits with her feet tucked underneath her.

  I find the courage to speak first. “What’s going on? Where am I? Were you . . . watching me sleep?”

  “I wanted to inspect you close up,” she says.

  “The TV doesn’t get in close enough for you?”

  She shakes her head. “On screen you are untouchable. Here, you are not.”

  I swallow, then glance past her to determine where “here” is. I expect it’s Hell, but instead it’s my bedroom.

  I see my dresser and nightstand. This is my bedding. The ceiling glows with my glow-in-the-dark stars. Everything is in place except . . . my baby blanket is missing. I dig through the blankets.

  It’s gone. Did she take it?

  “Why are you in my bedroom? Get out!” I yell.

  “This is not your home, Maddy,” she says. “It is mine. I recreated your bedroom to learn about you by living as you do.”

  I look around again. The walls are the exact shade of lilac, but they’re shinier. I reach out and run my hand over the wall. It’s stone. I look up high above me and see that the glow I saw earlier is not my stars but a huge candelabra. Low flames run along the base of the walls and cast the orange glow. Where my door should be is a stone archway. I can see it leads into the room I was in before, the one with the TV.

  It’s true, then. I’m back in Hell.

  I wanted one night without angels and demons, and she brings me here.

  “So much has happened to you, and it is all important,” she begins. “I brought your soul here rather than leave you to dream. Even though Elizabeth’s memories are important too, they would not allow your mind to fully process today’s events. You need to sit back, take a break, and examine things from a new angle with more objectivity—without emotions getting in the way.”

  She wants me to remain emotionless in the face of so much pain? I can’t do that.

  “You are scared,” she says “You are scared that you cannot save the girls. You are
scared that you will die. But mostly, you are scared of being hurt again. That is why you push MJ away every time things get rough.”

  My heart constricts at the mention of MJ. She’s right. On everything. But there is so much more to it than that.

  She scoots closer. “I understand. You are afraid there is something wrong with you. Up until today, you’ve always wondered if that was the real reason your birth parents ga—”

  My hand covers my heart. “You can’t possibly know all that.”

  “I have watched you all your life. Plus, I have been inside you. I have glimpsed your mind.” She sits there, gazing at me. “Maddy, you must be patient. You learned of your abilities only a few days ago, and they are changing. It is impossible to master them so soon. Relax. Let MJ help you.”

  I shake my head. Growing up, Dad would tell me to take my time whenever I was learning something new. Be patient. I need to learn to walk before I can run. But I didn’t need to be patient. I mastered bike riding in less time than it took him to put on and then take off my training wheels. I could play anything by Beethoven the day after learning scales on the piano. No matter what it was, I mastered it with ease.

  That’s why I’m so frustrated by my abilities. I can’t control them. I barely understand them.

  What does she know? Here I am, trying to control my abilities, but she only adds to the problem by overtaking my body and soul whenever she wants. She’s yet another person who’s kept the truth from me about the demon and the hundreds of people who have died as he makes his way to me.

  I grind my teeth, then storm out of bed, through the archway, and into the massive room.

  I stand in front of the fireplace. I’m not cold. I’m still sweating buckets, but the dance of the orange and amber flames is oddly soothing. The firelight creates shadows on the stone.

  As I look at the shadows, I once again know she’s right. I am letting the truth I learned today overshadow what MJ and I have together. I’ve been so upset about him keeping secrets from me, yet the moment I learn that truth, I immediately use it to push him away.

  I feel her hand on my shoulder. Her essence flows into me, and all at once, everything feels right again.

  “You have your first chance at happiness with MJ, but you are ruining it. You are letting the truth you learned today overshadow your feelings for MJ and his feelings for you.”

  Her words immediately bring back the flood of pain. “I don’t deserve to be happy. People are being murdered. People are being killed in my name.”

  “They have been since you were born. The only difference now is you know about it. You have dreamed all your life of being loved. You have that now. You have always had it, actually. Not just from your adopted family and your friends, but from those of us doing everything we can to keep you alive. But MJ . . . he loves you, and I know you love him too.”

  “I . . . I don’t know what to do. It feels wrong to be with him, to be happy, while they’re suffering for me.”

  “They are dying so you can live. Do not let their sacrifices be for nothing. Love MJ—while you can. Let him help you. Work on your abilities, find your inner strength, pull back when it gets to be too much, but mostly, do not give up fighting. Ever.”

  Love MJ while I can? I sigh. I know time isn’t guaranteed for us. It never has been.

  I panicked last Sunday when I thought I had only a day with MJ. And it turned out to be the best day I’d ever had, even though some of it was intense. But it wasn’t the end. We got a second day, and third, and they were even better.

  But each day, more angels and demons learn of me. At least two beings are after my soul. Now I don’t know if I’ll get an hour with MJ, a day, a week, a month, or an eternity. No matter how long I’ll have with him, it won’t be enough.

  I can’t waste another second of it.

  I turn to face her, pleading into her fiery eyes. “Send me home, please. I need to fix this. I need to fix us.”

  “Not right now,” she says.

  “Please, you must,” I press, frantic. “I have to get back to MJ.”

  Her hand still on my shoulder, she sends her essence to calm me. “There will be time for that later. At the moment, MJ is off on important tasks of his own.”

  My head moves back in surprise. He did leave. Even though I asked him to leave, I never thought he’d do it. I never expected him to trust me or his team enough. Maybe I don’t have much faith in him either. I should.

  She removes her hand from my shoulder and walks toward the living room. “I have something to show you.”

  I watch her walk to the living room area, not wanting to follow her. I followed Duane into the guest room, and look how horrible that turned out.

  “Yes, it was a bit overwhelming,” the masked demon says, reading my thoughts. “Which is why I want to help you digest it. Come here.”

  She directs me to sit on the leather couch in front of the TV. She herself flops down into the loveseat, lying on it lengthwise and letting her feet dangle off the armrest. She swings her legs in a slow, almost hypnotic rhythm.

  I watch her. “I sit like that too,” I say, trying to show her we have something in common.

  Red eyes meet mine. She tilts her head and says, “I know.” Then her legs resume swinging. She grabs the remote and turns on the TV.

  The screen shows me sleeping in bed—it’s my physical body back in my real room at this moment. Then everything moves backward. She’s rewinding my life.

  She presses play, and suddenly there is MJ on the bridge, cradling my limp body against him. He bows his head, breaking down.

  “What is this?” I sputter. “This isn’t real!”

  “It is. This is what happened to your body once your soul went into the vision of girl eight.”

  Without thinking, I stand in front of the TV and run my fingers across the screen, trying to soothe him.

  I hadn’t stopped to think about the pain he suffered while I suffered inside Lauren.

  A tear falls down his cheek, and I clamp my eyes shut as my lips tremble.

  Oh, MJ . . . I’m so sorry.

  I never should have said what I did after talking with Duane. I never should have pushed him away.

  In MJ’s arms, my body begins to move, pounding the air, mimicking the horror of the vision. A terrified scream sounds, coming from my body.

  The demon mutes the TV, but sound or no sound, I still watch in shock. People said I moved and talked in the dreams, but seeing it happen is . . . there are no words.

  MJ falls to his knees, his face twisting in pain and agony as he holds me. After a moment, Alexander lifts up the hem of my jeans to reveal my legs are charred.

  I reel back in alarm. Did my skin actually burn?

  “Yes. The angels healed you,” she answers. “It took all three of them.”

  The masked demon lifts the remote and turns off the TV. I gape at the blank screen, unable yet to break away.

  “These visions,” she says, “are dangerous. If you cannot pull out of them, you could die inside them. You did not have visions of the other girls. Why now? It is imperative you solve this before the killer goes after girl nine. What has changed?”

  Everything. Everything has changed.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  MJ

  As we walk through the Pearly Gates, I catch the eye of Thaddeus at the gate. It appears things are back to normal.

  “So where to?” Alexander asks.

  I glance at Alexander, grateful he’s by my side. “We’re going to look for Damien.”

  “How? We don’t have access to demon files.”

  “True.” I stop in the middle of a street filled with angels going about their business. I gaze up the steps to the building that rises above all others. The Basilica Trascendentium. “But they do.”

  His eyes widen with shock. Are you nuts? he shouts in my mind.

  I’m instantly relieved he didn’t say it out loud. It keeps nearby angels from overhearing our conversatio
n. Plus, speaking through Cerebrallink is the only way to avoid being detected by the Council, especially this close to their home.

  You want to ask the Council to help protect Maddy? he continues. They’d send the Perfugae after her before we’d even finished our first sentence!

  Calm down, I say, looking around at the angels passing by. And remember, angels don’t feel, so you better mask your expressions before you make a scene.

  He composes himself, but it takes several moments. I know it’s hard to act impassive now that our emotions have been restored. In the past, we faked emotions to blend in, but up here, now we have to fake not having them. And just as in art, it’s easy to spot a forgery.

  Alexander, relax. We’re going to ask the Council for help, but it won’t be about Maddy. I can hide my thoughts from them, and you need to as well.

  What? How? he asks.

  Come on. It’s a long walk to the top. I’ll explain on the way.

  We both unglamour our wings as we begin up the steps. Alexander’s have grown since the last time I saw them. They now stop below his knees when in a state of rest.

  He looks behind me, to my wingtips dragging along the ground. He whistles in amazement. Your wings are as big as the Council’s now.

  I huff. No, they’re not. Remember, the Archangels are a foot and a half taller than me.

  Oh yeah, he says. It’s been a while since I’ve seen them.

  Knowing—or at least assuming—we’re a safe enough distance away to speak freely, I look Alexander carefully in the eyes.

  So, hiding your thoughts from them . . . I begin. It’s like how we compel mortals. You just have to push your memories aside and put false ones in front of them. I’ve been doing it since . . . I started as a Protector. I leave it at that, hoping he doesn’t press for more.

  He snorts, though he gives me a sideways glance. Easy for you to say. You’ve had eight hundred years to perfect this technique. I need to nail it on my first try.

  He’s right. And with the Council looking for any excuse to go to war, this could be the biggest mistake of my life. But I can’t do this without him.